Books of Q3 2019

books of q3 2019 owning the stars

It’s that time of the year again! This is my third quarterly recap of books I’ve read in the last three months. Separated below into fiction and nonfiction. I hope it gives you some new book ideas! To read previous book review posts, check out Q1 2019, Q2 2019, 2018 nonfiction, and 2018 fiction.

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. That being said, my first preference is for you to check any recommended books out from your local library! Read more about my affiliate philosophy here. You can also check books out in e-book form and download them to the Kindle app, which means you don’t even have to put on pants and leave the house to get your book. Isn’t technology grand? Occasionally, books I read and review are also available for free through Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited program, and I make sure to note if that’s the case.

Rating Categories

Ok, here’s how I rate the books. It’s a super scientific method based on my own subjective opinion. If I trashed one of your favorites, I’m sorry…but not really. My blog, my rules, my views.

  • Drop everything to read this book (DEAR for short)
  • Highly recommended (HR)
  • Good book (GB)
  • OK
  • Meh don’t bother (MDB)

Non-Fiction

  • The Scar: A Personal History of Depression and Recovery by Mary Cregan. HR. Major trigger warning on this one. Cregan writes about her experiences with melancholic depression, and specifically her suicide attempt in a psychiatric hospital after losing her newborn. It’s wrenching and real, and she uses her personal experience to tell a broader story about the search for treatments for depression and some of the science behind it (which, turns out, doesn’t really give us a lot of answers). I think the more we’re exposed to stories of mental illness and their very real victims and consequences, the more we as a society can de-stigmatize those illnesses. This book works to do that.
  • The F*ck It Diet: Eating Should be Easy by Caroline Dooner. GB. This is one I read while thinking more and more about diet culture and its major problems. Dooner approaches dieting from the perspective of a serial dieter that struggled with weight cycling throughout her life. In the book, she explains that the biggest step for her (and one she recommends) is putting everything back on the table in terms of what’s allowed. You can have whatever you want. The idea is that yes, you might eat way too much chocolate for a bit, but eventually, you’ll tune back into your body’s natural cues and find a healthy balance. Restricting food is what puts us back in a mindset of scarcity, which can lead to those famine responses from our bodies. Basically, this seems to me like a more millennial-friendly version of Intuitive Eating. Worth a read if this is a topic that interests you.
  • 100 Questions Every First-Time Homebuyer Should Ask by Ilyce R. Glink. HR. If you’re a regular reader of the blog, then you know that I’m planning on moving to Cleveland and buying a house in the next few months. This is absurdly exciting for me but also a bit overwhelming. I’ve never owned my own home before, and I know that there are things about this process that I don’t even know I should be worried about. That’s where this book comes in. Glink does an amazing job of documenting all of the things you need to consider in the home-buying process, including what hurdles to expect and what problems to prepare for. Even though it’s a pretty thick book, it was a good read and is broken up into digestible questions and sections. After reading this, I feel like I can at least kind of have an intelligent conversation about home-buying where I’m asking the right questions.
  • The Holmes Inspection: Everything You Need to Know Before You Buy or Sell Your Home by Mike Holmes. GB. Again, I’m trying to read up on homeownership now before I actually have a house to deal with. Specifically, I don’t really have any experience living in older homes (which is primarily what I’m looking at in Cleveland), and I wanted to know what I should be looking for during an inspection. This book was a decent primer, though I wish it had more examples of good versus bad when talking about different housing elements. But, it’s pretty quick to read, and I definitely learned a few things.
  • So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. DEAR. For those of us that aren’t a minority, I think we have a particular responsibility to not only educate ourselves about racial issues but also to do so in a way that doesn’t place the emotional burden on those marginalized groups. I’m hoping to read more on this topic because as a society, we’re at a tipping point. I want to make sure I know what I’m talking about when racism shows up (because it does) but also that I know when to shut up and just listen since this isn’t my story. Anyway, everyone should read this. And if you have other recommendations on the topic, please let me know in the comments!
  • Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
  • Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Both 100% DEAR. These are two of my all-time favorite books that I recently re-read. Seriously, Lawson is one of my favorite human beings of all time. She’s hilarious, and raw, and real. She writes about her struggles with mental health in a way that is approachable. It’s simultaneously accurate and disarmingly funny. Please make sure you read this ASAP. In fact, if you don’t want to read them, I can also highly recommend the audiobooks–Lawson narrates them herself, and there were points while I was driving when I was laughing so hard that I probably should have pulled over…

*side note about Lawson. I’ve gotten in the habit of picking up copies of these books at library sales because I always seem to give my copy away. Well, when I went to read the copy of Furiously Happy that I bought, I saw that the title page was already autographed. Which led to some wonderful twitter banter:

via GIPHY

Fiction

This wasn’t the best quarter for fiction reading. I think I watched more TV for entertainment than I read. I read a few books, but it was a mixed bag in terms of quality IMO.

  • The Darkest Star by Jennifer L. Armentrout. OK. Basically Twilight but with aliens. And there were a couple of twists, but they were only meh. The general premise is that aliens are among us, but there are also extra special aliens…and there’s a love interest…and the girl is super special for some mysterious reason…whatever. Turns out this is actually a spinoff in the same world as one of Armentrout’s other series. That one might be better, but I’m not sure I care enough to find out. Maybe when I’m really bored at some point.
  • Storm and Fury by Jennifer L. Armentrout. GB. Slightly better than the above by the same author. At least it’s a semi-original premise. This one is a teen love story but involving gargoyles! Like from cathedrals. And demons. Another spinoff from a previous series. If I hadn’t already checked this one out from the library before finishing The Darkest Star, I don’t know that I would have read it. But it was a decent read if you need something light.
  • Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin. HR. This was lovely. It’s a fantasy novel involving the persecution of witches. One of the things I absolutely loved about it was the super unique magical construct. The attention to detail and nuance in developing her magical system gives Mahurin major points in my book. And from a debut author! If you like YA fantasy, this is worth a read.
  • Storm Siren
  • Siren’s Fury
  • Siren’s Song by Mary Weber. GB. This is a good series with an interesting plot. It’s only GB because the second book in the series was a little weak…and there were some holes in the plot where things didn’t seem to make as much sense as they should have. the magic aspect got a little vague at points, but the overall plot was fun.

Ok, that’s it for Q3. Only one more quarter of reading to go! I’ll probably include a tally for the year at the end of the next post.

Anything I should add to my reading list? I’d love to hear your suggestions!

The FIRE Movement’s Fatphobia Problem

The FIRE Movement's Fatphobia Problem owning the stars

The FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) Movement is how I stumbled into the personal finance space. It’s how I landed on my career change and new path of entrepreneurism. It’s how I’ve made great friends around the country and around the world. All this to say that overall, the FIRE Movement has a lot of great things going for it in my book. I’m not sure I would say I’m on any sort of straightforward “FIRE” Path, but it has strongly influenced my thinking on money.

While the majority of the FIRE and Personal Finance Twittersphere is lovely, there is this concerning thread I’ve noticed popping up again and again. And it finally annoyed me enough that I decided to call it out. I see some people in the FIRE movement arguing some variation of this line: If fat people just applied the same discipline to their health as they did to their finances, they’d lose weight. Or: Until you’re a healthy weight, you shouldn’t waste time worrying about money. Or: They just need to try harder/track macros/do intermittent fasting and all of their problems would be solved. This general thread is all too similar to the “optimization” mindset that I’ve previously called bullshit on.

via GIPHY

All of these threads are frustratingly out of line with the science on weight and weight-loss. They’re also dangerous and throw up more barriers for people who aren’t inferior–morally, intellectually, or with regard to willpower.

The Science

I know there are so many people out there who are like, I lost 70 pounds exercising and counting calories and now I’m healthy! I’m calling bullshit. The science just doesn’t pan out regarding diets and weight loss. The vast majority of people who go on a diet and lose weight end up regaining it all back…or more. And this is true whether or not they maintain their diet or exercise program. Because your body doesn’t understand that the weight loss was on purpose. Instead, it says, “oh shit, our calorie consumption has gone down–must be a famine!” and it starts automatically slowing metabolism and storing more energy in fat. Once more for the people in the back: Your 👏anecdotal 👏evidence 👏has 👏no 👏scientific 👏validity!

via GIPHY

Did you know that of those who go on a diet and actually lose weight, 95% will regain that weight (or more) in 5 years? 95%!!! What’s more, chronic dieting, and yo-yoing weight, have major health impacts. Dieting encourages your body to store more energy…so many dieters will end up heavier than when they started.

This isn’t a willpower thing. And before you @ me, how about you read all of the science behind this research. I’ve been doing a deep dive into this topic lately (though I’ve only skimmed the surface). Here are some of the notable takeaways from Dr. Linda Bacon and Dr. Lucy Aphramor, who have written quite a bit of the seminal text on the topic. Emphases are my own.

Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor

“Current guidelines recommend that “overweight” and “obese” individuals lose weight through engaging in lifestyle modification involving diet, exercise and other behavior change. This approach reliably induces short term weight loss, but the majority of individuals are unable to maintain weight loss over the long term and do not achieve the putative benefits of improved morbidity and mortality. Concern has arisen that this weight focus is not only ineffective at producing thinner, healthier bodies, but may also have unintended consequences, contributing to food and body preoccupation, repeated cycles of weight loss and regain, distraction from other personal health goals and wider health determinants, reduced self-esteem, eating disorders, other health decrement, and weight stigmatization and discrimination…

While it is well established that obesity is associated with increased risk for many diseases, causation is less well-established. Epidemiological studies rarely acknowledge factors like fitness, activity, nutrient intake, weight cycling or socioeconomic status when considering connections between weight and disease. Yet all play a role in determining health risk. When studies do control for these factors, increased risk of disease disappears or is significantly reduced”

Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon, PhD and Lucy Aphramor, PhD, RD

“Rather than being an indelible character trait or personal failure, post-diet compensatory eating comes as a direct consequence of dieting itself, our bodies’ nearly irresistible biological compensation triggered by weight loss. Accusations of personal failure ignore this science and are value judgments based on stereotypes or blame-ridden interpretations of behavioral counterreactions to starvation.”

“Several studies, including the largest health and nutrition study conducted by the U.S. government, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, document that higher-weight people eat no more than lean people, despite the popular misconception. One review examined thirteen studies, and found the intake of heavier people to be less than or equal to thin people in twelve of them.”


There is so much more science on this topic. Here’s a great article from Slate that links to several key findings. I’m not a scientist, and this isn’t a science blog, so I’ll leave it there for now in terms of evidence.

My Story

After my accident, I gained 30 pounds in a year. And then I kept gaining. For a very long time, I beat myself up about this. Coping with that (VERY) traumatic experience with pints of Ben and Jerry’s was weak of me (went my inner dialogue). If I was strong, and if I was healthy, and if I made good decisions, it shouldn’t be hard to get back to that lower weight, which I always thought of as my baseline. And as I cycled through diets and subsequent weight gain, my body got even more screwed up and confused.

via GIPHY

I almost died in that accident. If the truck had been going a little faster, it would have thrown me head-first into a parked car. And then I went through months of intense pain and recovery, which included multiple surgeries. I am not at all ashamed of how I handled that time–I was surviving. But it isn’t surprising that the weight stayed on even after I recovered and regained mobility. Especially since my stress levels have stayed pretty consistently high in the years since that weight gain. Do I wish I was back at my weight from sophomore year? Yes! Am I going to let that get in the way of enjoying my life, eating what my body wants, and moving in ways that feel good? Hell no. I can be healthy without losing that weight. And in fact, I’m better off not dieting to achieve that pipe dream because that comes with its own health side effects.

The Financial Angle

The weight-loss industry is a $72 billion behemoth. And they’re really good at messaging couched in science that sells more product. Fatphobia is good for their business. That’s billions of dollars each year that Americans (and the majority are women) are spending on weight loss. Money they aren’t investing (which is an insult to the injury of lower pay to start with). But more than that, this message affects people lives. There’s a stigma around owning your space and being the healthiest version of yourself–no matter your size.

Because of that very effective messaging, the general “truth” that obesity is the root of all health evils seems to be taken as scripture. However, when you read articles or studies where obesity is discussed, there is not necessarily any strong link to causation. In any of them. And anyone with even a small background in science or math can tell you that correlation DOES NOT imply causation.


Look, I’m not saying it’s cool to go out and eat a dozen Krispy Kremes every day. But I also wish we could move past this trend of fat-shaming (in a space where it isn’t even remotely relevant). And even when we are talking about health, that conversation should be on promoting good things rather than restriction and failure.

Because the science is complex, I’m sure this conversation will continue to evolve. But one of the things I love about the personal finance community is the support we give each other. And this is definitely an area where we seem to fall short. Let’s get better.

2018 in Review

It’s been a wild year. Actually, 2018 was pretty rough for me, with a lot of turmoil and uncertainty. But this last month, it feels like things have started to clarify in my life, and I’m hopeful for what 2019 will bring.

I’m going to break this post down by my three main categories–financial security, happiness, and health.

Continue reading “2018 in Review”

Why I Don’t Buy Organic

why I don't buy organic owning the stars

I come from a farming family. In fact, my family’s farm has been around for close to 150 years. I didn’t grow up on the farm, but that heritage is vitally important to me, and I have a lot of respect for what farmers do. It also means that I get a little testy when activist groups try to vilify certain farmers for not meeting their (often unreasonable) “health” demands. This is especially true with organic products (and non-GMO labels, but I’m not even going to touch that can of worms today). But with that background, and having a deep personal connection to agriculture–one that is supported with plenty of my own research–I don’t buy organic.  Continue reading “Why I Don’t Buy Organic”

Weekly Update: Meal Prepping and Gratitude

The last two weeks, since getting back from Peru, have been difficult. I was sick for a good portion of them and exhausted constantly. It’s also been stressful applying for jobs and not feeling like I’m getting anywhere. All of these factors meant that I wasn’t being very diligent about cooking at home and eating healthy. In an effort to prevent that this week, I did some massive meal prepping today!

Continue reading “Weekly Update: Meal Prepping and Gratitude”

Tracking Habits for Success

tracking habits productivity bullet journal self improvement

Guess who’s back!

It’s been awhile! To recap, August was insane. Bad insane followed by good insane. The bad: super stressful job search (that has yet to be fruitful), and SunCat getting really sick in the middle of it. Thankfully, she seems to be responding really well to her treatment so far. Fingers crossed!

SunCat cute cat book reading cuddling
Hooman, why is this book in my spot??

The Good: I went to Peru! I just got back from a 10-day trip with my best friend. It was amazing. This country has been at the very top of my travel wish list for some time now, and it didn’t disappoint. I climbed Montaña Machu Picchu, and so now I know that I can do anything. Seriously, that thing was really fucking hard. Side note: I’m taking the stairs at work from now on…

Before I left, I started tracking habits that I wanted to build, with mixed results. Continue reading “Tracking Habits for Success”

The Tyranny of Monotony in Work

Tyranny of Monotony in Work Lamp post lamplighter sky streetlamp

I have already written about the inspiration for my blog name, which is the children’s book The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. While one specific chapter in that book gave this blog its name, the other chapters also have relevant life lessons to share, like Chapter 14, and specifically the lessons it imparts about passion and the need for change. Monotony in work can affect the rest of your life and wellbeing.

Continue reading “The Tyranny of Monotony in Work”

Mental Health, Part 2: Sanity and Financial Security

My Mental Health Four Years Ago

Remember that NBD accident from Mental Health, Part I? Yeah, it left me pretty screwed up mentally as well as physically. I did a great job of pretending I was okay for awhile, and the panic attacks and obsessive thoughts kept getting worse. I was a mess. And ironically, it took my therapist and I awhile to figure out that I was depressed. Turns out I was so good at faking normal by that point that even in my own head, depression was masked as extreme stress and exhaustion. But when we did finally put a name to that feeling of being constantly overwhelmed and unable to find a way out, things got a lot better. Why? Continue reading “Mental Health, Part 2: Sanity and Financial Security”