Grief and Growth

It’s so hard to realize that this year is almost gone. And more than that, this decade of my life is almost gone – I turn 30 in a few weeks. In a lot of ways, it feels like we’ve been paused since March 2020. Like the past year and a half shouldn’t even count; like we should get a “do-over.” But that’s not true. We’ve had to keep surviving, living, growing, changing even with all of the stress and uncertainty of the pandemic. Maybe even BECAUSE of that stress and uncertainty. I think there are plenty of people out there who experienced forced introspection in 2020 when they might not have done that work otherwise.

When I look back at the past year, I see so many changes. At first, I tried to talk about all of them in one post, but it very quickly got excessive. They’ll each get their own post. I make no promises about when those posts will happen. They’re all changes that are poignant – that I consider pivot points in my life. Today’s post, the first post of 2021 after almost a year of not writing, is for SunCat. It’s half reflection, half eulogy.

Continue reading “Grief and Growth”

Peace Out, 2020

This has been a year of paradoxes. On the one hand, I’ve grown in my business and am loving self-employment. On the other hand, this is the most stressed I’ve ever been because, well,… *gestures to the world.*

Throughout the year, I’ve tried to be kind to myself. To give myself grace for not hitting goals I set in 2019 (I was so naive back then…). To take breaks when I feel the anxiety wave threatening to overwhelm me. But also to be as engaged as possible in a world that feels like it will never be the same (in good ways and bad).

I’m writing this post to wrap up the year because it feels wrong to go into 2021 without some reflection. I’d like to say that I’ll definitely write more regularly in the new year, but I’m not making that promise. I’ll do my best.

In so many ways, 2020 feels like a lost year. So much has happened, but I feel like I’ve been in this stasis of isolation. I never leave my home, and I’m terrified for loved ones at higher risk. I’ve made minimal progress at making friends or building community in my new city. And this year, generally, has felt like a decade. Can we talk about the fact that 1) the Australian wildfires, 2) the Presidential primaries, and 3) the impeachment ALL happened before COVID-19 took over our lives? It’s exhausting.

But some things have happened. I started the year with basically no regular client meetings (I made $100 one month…that was rough). In the last 4 months of 2020, I’ve been able to consistently make enough to cover my expenses. I’m hoping to continue that trend into 2021. And even more excitingly, I started the process to become a CFP® (Certified Financial Planner). I’m taking the coursework for that now, and I’ll take the exam itself next year. I won’t actually get my certification until I log 4,000 experience hours, but the coursework and exam are a major hurdle, and I’ll have those experience hours done in the next couple of years.

SunCat is still kicking. She’s currently on: a steroid 2x a day, chemotherapy pills, an antibiotic 2x a day, a probiotic 2x a day, arthritis meds daily, and anti-seizure medication. Along with bi-weekly injections. Which seems like a lot, but she’s happy and stable, so I’ll put up with the complicated medication regimen for as long as it helps. I’m so thankful that she’s still here, more than a YEAR after her cancer diagnosis.

And, a glimmer of excitement at the end of the year: my mom is visiting. We’ve taken all possible precautions. In fact, Lyra moved out this week so that I could isolate myself for a solid week before my mom gets here. And, since neither of us has gone anywhere this year, the risk of spreading something is as low as it can be. I cannot WAIT to see someone in person who isn’t my roommate or my pets. Or the occasional brief visitor. This is 100% what I need at the end of such an exhausting year.

I’ll put one more post out before 2021. I need to write another book update. More because I don’t want that hanging over my head in the new year; the list is scary long… Fair warning, I don’t plan on putting book images in, or long comments about each book, except the ones I’m particularly excited about. So I can’t guarantee that the post will be a super engaging read, but my motto for this year has been, more than ever, “done is better than perfect.”

Wishing you and your loved ones the best holiday season available to you, and hoping that you have a safe and healthy new year.

A Reintroduction and Challenging the Status Quo

I did a fun thing a few weeks ago. I reread all of my blog posts, starting from the beginning. It’s been almost three years since I started writing here, and I honestly couldn’t even remember from week to week what I wrote, so I wanted to make sure I stood by what I’ve said over the years. I’ve also been thinking about sharing this blog with more people I know IRL, so reviewing my posts was important to me.

Continue reading “A Reintroduction and Challenging the Status Quo”

Slowing Down

slowing down blog post owning the stars

I’ve been really bad about posting regularly on the blog lately. Like no post in the month of May bad. And you know what? That’s okay. Things have been really busy (in a good way), and I’ve been trying to be more intentional about giving myself time and space (aka slowing down). When I get stressed and try to power through, it never turns out well.

How I feel when I “power through.” via GIPHY
Continue reading “Slowing Down”

When Optimization is Suboptimal

There’s this insidious trend in the personal finance/self-help spaces that drives me crazy. It’s the idea that we need to optimize every aspect of our lives, hustle hard to get ahead, and hack inefficiencies like we’re machines. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good productivity hack as much as the next person, but I think this line of thinking can also be dangerous.

Dangerous because it implies that if you aren’t optimizing everything, that you’re slacking. You aren’t trying hard enough, and that’s the reason you can’t get ahead. Well, I’m calling bullshit.

via GIPHY
Continue reading “When Optimization is Suboptimal”

2018 in Review

It’s been a wild year. Actually, 2018 was pretty rough for me, with a lot of turmoil and uncertainty. But this last month, it feels like things have started to clarify in my life, and I’m hopeful for what 2019 will bring.

I’m going to break this post down by my three main categories–financial security, happiness, and health.

Continue reading “2018 in Review”

The Value of Happiness: Why I Walked Away from $40k

value of happiness why I walked away from $40,000 blog owning the stars

Could I have picked a more clickbait-y title? You’re welcome. But it’s 100% true too. This is my second weekly update post, and it’s been one hell of a week. This is a pretty long post because there’s some background that needs to be established, but bear with me. I eventually get to the part about lighting money on fire and walking away. But I’ve also discovered that the value of happiness doesn’t have a price tag. And as trite as that sounds, it’s so true.

Continue reading “The Value of Happiness: Why I Walked Away from $40k”