Well, I spent an hour writing a detailed post about the updated math of having pet insurance. And then it somehow didn’t save properly and disappeared. I’m taking that as a sign that I should just tackle that topic another day. Here’s a very quick update of what’s going on in my life.
Continue reading “Life Updates”I’m Buying a House!
Quick recap: I’m moving to Cleveland, and I started the home-buying process…with a whole lot of internet research. But two weeks ago, things got real, and it’s official…I’m buying a house!
Continue reading “I’m Buying a House!”
Travel Hacking My Way to Jordan
Here’s the deal. My mom is awesome. Like super awesome. Like raised-two-daughters-as-a-single-mom-and-still-got-her-Ph.D.-in-the-middle level awesome. She’s always been supportive and wonderful, and I love her bunches. And she turned 60 this year, so I wanted to do something extra special to celebrate. For the past year and a half, I’ve been saving up credit card points to take her to Jordan (without spending a whole lot of money), and I figured I’d outline what I did here in case it’s of interest to others. I couldn’t write about this travel hacking strategy sooner because I didn’t give her the gift until last month, but we won’t be going until Spring 2020 (for her birthday I told her that we would be going, then we picked dates…).
Books of Q3 2019
It’s that time of the year again! This is my third quarterly recap of books I’ve read in the last three months. Separated below into fiction and nonfiction. I hope it gives you some new book ideas! To read previous book review posts, check out Q1 2019, Q2 2019, 2018 nonfiction, and 2018 fiction.
This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. That being said, my first preference is for you to check any recommended books out from your local library! Read more about my affiliate philosophy here. You can also check books out in e-book form and download them to the Kindle app, which means you don’t even have to put on pants and leave the house to get your book. Isn’t technology grand? Occasionally, books I read and review are also available for free through Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited program, and I make sure to note if that’s the case.
Rating Categories
Ok, here’s how I rate the books. It’s a super scientific method based on my own subjective opinion. If I trashed one of your favorites, I’m sorry…but not really. My blog, my rules, my views.
- Drop everything to read this book (DEAR for short)
- Highly recommended (HR)
- Good book (GB)
- OK
- Meh don’t bother (MDB)
Non-Fiction
- The Scar: A Personal History of Depression and Recovery by Mary Cregan. HR. Major trigger warning on this one. Cregan writes about her experiences with melancholic depression, and specifically her suicide attempt in a psychiatric hospital after losing her newborn. It’s wrenching and real, and she uses her personal experience to tell a broader story about the search for treatments for depression and some of the science behind it (which, turns out, doesn’t really give us a lot of answers). I think the more we’re exposed to stories of mental illness and their very real victims and consequences, the more we as a society can de-stigmatize those illnesses. This book works to do that.
- The F*ck It Diet: Eating Should be Easy by Caroline Dooner. GB. This is one I read while thinking more and more about diet culture and its major problems. Dooner approaches dieting from the perspective of a serial dieter that struggled with weight cycling throughout her life. In the book, she explains that the biggest step for her (and one she recommends) is putting everything back on the table in terms of what’s allowed. You can have whatever you want. The idea is that yes, you might eat way too much chocolate for a bit, but eventually, you’ll tune back into your body’s natural cues and find a healthy balance. Restricting food is what puts us back in a mindset of scarcity, which can lead to those famine responses from our bodies. Basically, this seems to me like a more millennial-friendly version of Intuitive Eating. Worth a read if this is a topic that interests you.
- Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon, PhD and Lucy Aphramor, PhD, RD. DEAR. I reference this book in my post about fatphobia in the FIRE movement. It’s a short read, and it packs a lot of the science around weight loss into one book (both in the narrative and in the references). If you’re someone who still thinks that losing weight is all about self-discipline and “calories in versus calories out,” then you need to read this and seriously examine your preconceived ideas on weight. Bacon and Aphramor do a wonderful job of explaining the issues here.
- 100 Questions Every First-Time Homebuyer Should Ask by Ilyce R. Glink. HR. If you’re a regular reader of the blog, then you know that I’m planning on moving to Cleveland and buying a house in the next few months. This is absurdly exciting for me but also a bit overwhelming. I’ve never owned my own home before, and I know that there are things about this process that I don’t even know I should be worried about. That’s where this book comes in. Glink does an amazing job of documenting all of the things you need to consider in the home-buying process, including what hurdles to expect and what problems to prepare for. Even though it’s a pretty thick book, it was a good read and is broken up into digestible questions and sections. After reading this, I feel like I can at least kind of have an intelligent conversation about home-buying where I’m asking the right questions.
- The Holmes Inspection: Everything You Need to Know Before You Buy or Sell Your Home by Mike Holmes. GB. Again, I’m trying to read up on homeownership now before I actually have a house to deal with. Specifically, I don’t really have any experience living in older homes (which is primarily what I’m looking at in Cleveland), and I wanted to know what I should be looking for during an inspection. This book was a decent primer, though I wish it had more examples of good versus bad when talking about different housing elements. But, it’s pretty quick to read, and I definitely learned a few things.
- So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. DEAR. For those of us that aren’t a minority, I think we have a particular responsibility to not only educate ourselves about racial issues but also to do so in a way that doesn’t place the emotional burden on those marginalized groups. I’m hoping to read more on this topic because as a society, we’re at a tipping point. I want to make sure I know what I’m talking about when racism shows up (because it does) but also that I know when to shut up and just listen since this isn’t my story. Anyway, everyone should read this. And if you have other recommendations on the topic, please let me know in the comments!
- Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
- Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Both 100% DEAR. These are two of my all-time favorite books that I recently re-read. Seriously, Lawson is one of my favorite human beings of all time. She’s hilarious, and raw, and real. She writes about her struggles with mental health in a way that is approachable. It’s simultaneously accurate and disarmingly funny. Please make sure you read this ASAP. In fact, if you don’t want to read them, I can also highly recommend the audiobooks–Lawson narrates them herself, and there were points while I was driving when I was laughing so hard that I probably should have pulled over…
*side note about Lawson. I’ve gotten in the habit of picking up copies of these books at library sales because I always seem to give my copy away. Well, when I went to read the copy of Furiously Happy that I bought, I saw that the title page was already autographed. Which led to some wonderful twitter banter:
Fiction
This wasn’t the best quarter for fiction reading. I think I watched more TV for entertainment than I read. I read a few books, but it was a mixed bag in terms of quality IMO.
- The Darkest Star by Jennifer L. Armentrout. OK. Basically Twilight but with aliens. And there were a couple of twists, but they were only meh. The general premise is that aliens are among us, but there are also extra special aliens…and there’s a love interest…and the girl is super special for some mysterious reason…whatever. Turns out this is actually a spinoff in the same world as one of Armentrout’s other series. That one might be better, but I’m not sure I care enough to find out. Maybe when I’m really bored at some point.
- Storm and Fury by Jennifer L. Armentrout. GB. Slightly better than the above by the same author. At least it’s a semi-original premise. This one is a teen love story but involving gargoyles! Like from cathedrals. And demons. Another spinoff from a previous series. If I hadn’t already checked this one out from the library before finishing The Darkest Star, I don’t know that I would have read it. But it was a decent read if you need something light.
- Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin. HR. This was lovely. It’s a fantasy novel involving the persecution of witches. One of the things I absolutely loved about it was the super unique magical construct. The attention to detail and nuance in developing her magical system gives Mahurin major points in my book. And from a debut author! If you like YA fantasy, this is worth a read.
- Storm Siren
- Siren’s Fury
- Siren’s Song by Mary Weber. GB. This is a good series with an interesting plot. It’s only GB because the second book in the series was a little weak…and there were some holes in the plot where things didn’t seem to make as much sense as they should have. the magic aspect got a little vague at points, but the overall plot was fun.
Ok, that’s it for Q3. Only one more quarter of reading to go! I’ll probably include a tally for the year at the end of the next post.
Anything I should add to my reading list? I’d love to hear your suggestions!
The FIRE Movement’s Fatphobia Problem
The FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) Movement is how I stumbled into the personal finance space. It’s how I landed on my career change and new path of entrepreneurism. It’s how I’ve made great friends around the country and around the world. All this to say that overall, the FIRE Movement has a lot of great things going for it in my book. I’m not sure I would say I’m on any sort of straightforward “FIRE” Path, but it has strongly influenced my thinking on money.
While the majority of the FIRE and Personal Finance Twittersphere is lovely, there is this concerning thread I’ve noticed popping up again and again. And it finally annoyed me enough that I decided to call it out. I see some people in the FIRE movement arguing some variation of this line: If fat people just applied the same discipline to their health as they did to their finances, they’d lose weight. Or: Until you’re a healthy weight, you shouldn’t waste time worrying about money. Or: They just need to try harder/track macros/do intermittent fasting and all of their problems would be solved. This general thread is all too similar to the “optimization” mindset that I’ve previously called bullshit on.
All of these threads are frustratingly out of line with the science on weight and weight-loss. They’re also dangerous and throw up more barriers for people who aren’t inferior–morally, intellectually, or with regard to willpower.
The Science
I know there are so many people out there who are like, I lost 70 pounds exercising and counting calories and now I’m healthy! I’m calling bullshit. The science just doesn’t pan out regarding diets and weight loss. The vast majority of people who go on a diet and lose weight end up regaining it all back…or more. And this is true whether or not they maintain their diet or exercise program. Because your body doesn’t understand that the weight loss was on purpose. Instead, it says, “oh shit, our calorie consumption has gone down–must be a famine!” and it starts automatically slowing metabolism and storing more energy in fat. Once more for the people in the back: Your 👏anecdotal 👏evidence 👏has 👏no 👏scientific 👏validity!
Did you know that of those who go on a diet and actually lose weight, 95% will regain that weight (or more) in 5 years? 95%!!! What’s more, chronic dieting, and yo-yoing weight, have major health impacts. Dieting encourages your body to store more energy…so many dieters will end up heavier than when they started.
This isn’t a willpower thing. And before you @ me, how about you read all of the science behind this research. I’ve been doing a deep dive into this topic lately (though I’ve only skimmed the surface). Here are some of the notable takeaways from Dr. Linda Bacon and Dr. Lucy Aphramor, who have written quite a bit of the seminal text on the topic. Emphases are my own.
Weight Science: Evaluating the Evidence for a Paradigm Shift by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor
“Current guidelines recommend that “overweight” and “obese” individuals lose weight through engaging in lifestyle modification involving diet, exercise and other behavior change. This approach reliably induces short term weight loss, but the majority of individuals are unable to maintain weight loss over the long term and do not achieve the putative benefits of improved morbidity and mortality. Concern has arisen that this weight focus is not only ineffective at producing thinner, healthier bodies, but may also have unintended consequences, contributing to food and body preoccupation, repeated cycles of weight loss and regain, distraction from other personal health goals and wider health determinants, reduced self-esteem, eating disorders, other health decrement, and weight stigmatization and discrimination…
While it is well established that obesity is associated with increased risk for many diseases, causation is less well-established. Epidemiological studies rarely acknowledge factors like fitness, activity, nutrient intake, weight cycling or socioeconomic status when considering connections between weight and disease. Yet all play a role in determining health risk. When studies do control for these factors, increased risk of disease disappears or is significantly reduced”
Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon, PhD and Lucy Aphramor, PhD, RD
“Rather than being an indelible character trait or personal failure, post-diet compensatory eating comes as a direct consequence of dieting itself, our bodies’ nearly irresistible biological compensation triggered by weight loss. Accusations of personal failure ignore this science and are value judgments based on stereotypes or blame-ridden interpretations of behavioral counterreactions to starvation.”
“Several studies, including the largest health and nutrition study conducted by the U.S. government, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, document that higher-weight people eat no more than lean people, despite the popular misconception. One review examined thirteen studies, and found the intake of heavier people to be less than or equal to thin people in twelve of them.”
There is so much more science on this topic. Here’s a great article from Slate that links to several key findings. I’m not a scientist, and this isn’t a science blog, so I’ll leave it there for now in terms of evidence.
My Story
After my accident, I gained 30 pounds in a year. And then I kept gaining. For a very long time, I beat myself up about this. Coping with that (VERY) traumatic experience with pints of Ben and Jerry’s was weak of me (went my inner dialogue). If I was strong, and if I was healthy, and if I made good decisions, it shouldn’t be hard to get back to that lower weight, which I always thought of as my baseline. And as I cycled through diets and subsequent weight gain, my body got even more screwed up and confused.
I almost died in that accident. If the truck had been going a little faster, it would have thrown me head-first into a parked car. And then I went through months of intense pain and recovery, which included multiple surgeries. I am not at all ashamed of how I handled that time–I was surviving. But it isn’t surprising that the weight stayed on even after I recovered and regained mobility. Especially since my stress levels have stayed pretty consistently high in the years since that weight gain. Do I wish I was back at my weight from sophomore year? Yes! Am I going to let that get in the way of enjoying my life, eating what my body wants, and moving in ways that feel good? Hell no. I can be healthy without losing that weight. And in fact, I’m better off not dieting to achieve that pipe dream because that comes with its own health side effects.
The Financial Angle
The weight-loss industry is a $72 billion behemoth. And they’re really good at messaging couched in science that sells more product. Fatphobia is good for their business. That’s billions of dollars each year that Americans (and the majority are women) are spending on weight loss. Money they aren’t investing (which is an insult to the injury of lower pay to start with). But more than that, this message affects people lives. There’s a stigma around owning your space and being the healthiest version of yourself–no matter your size.
Because of that very effective messaging, the general “truth” that obesity is the root of all health evils seems to be taken as scripture. However, when you read articles or studies where obesity is discussed, there is not necessarily any strong link to causation. In any of them. And anyone with even a small background in science or math can tell you that correlation DOES NOT imply causation.
Look, I’m not saying it’s cool to go out and eat a dozen Krispy Kremes every day. But I also wish we could move past this trend of fat-shaming (in a space where it isn’t even remotely relevant). And even when we are talking about health, that conversation should be on promoting good things rather than restriction and failure.
Because the science is complex, I’m sure this conversation will continue to evolve. But one of the things I love about the personal finance community is the support we give each other. And this is definitely an area where we seem to fall short. Let’s get better.
It’s Official: I’m Moving To…
Damn straight that’s a clickbait title. You’re just going to have to keep reading to find out the answer to where I’m moving.
Guest Post: How to Sell Your House
Y’all, I have good friends. Friends who are more than happy to enable my laziness. A few weeks ago, Lyra wrote a guest post for me about her move to Cleveland. This week, continuing with my series of posts about home-buying, my friend Nova volunteered to write a guest post about her recent experience selling her home, which might be useful if you want to sell your house. It also means I don’t have to try to write a post right after returning from Cleveland! Bad news for you guys because you have to wait a week to hear about how that visit went 😉
Continue reading “Guest Post: How to Sell Your House”I’ve Made a Horrible Mistake
I’ve made a horrible mistake. When considering cities to move to in my wonderful Locations Spreadsheet, I completely neglected one of the most important factors when evaluating a city.
Continue reading “I’ve Made a Horrible Mistake”Buying a House: A Rookie’s Perspective
Well, you all know that I plan on moving. I’ve wanted to for a while, but now it’s happening. Soon. I wanted to write an update on my thought process, choosing a city, and next steps (like thinking about buying a house). Because things are happening quick. Which is both exciting and terrifying!
Continue reading “Buying a House: A Rookie’s Perspective”Guest Post: Adventures in Financial Adulting
Given my post of two weeks ago about where I might move soon, and given that my BFF Lyra lives in Cleveland already, I thought this week would be the perfect opportunity to have her write a guest post about her move there, the rationale, and what it’s meant for her finances (also, guest posts mean I can skip a week of writing and not feel guilty! Yay!). Please give her all the welcomes so that I can con her into convince her to guest post again!